Monday, August 28, 2017

A Letter to my Brother

Dearest Shirish,

It has been years since I wrote you a letter. The last time we wrote to each other was when we were living in different countries as kids. Since then, I never thought I would have to write to you ever again. We were always just a phone call away from each other.

I keep staring at my phone these days. Waiting and willing it to ring. To see you name appear on it as the caller. My mind knows that it won't happen, but my heart refuses to give up. I can't believe I haven't heard your voice in a year now. There are times I want to share your niece's accomplishments with you, and I remember how much you used to ask to Skype with her, and how little time I had for you then. At times I crave to hear you and see you, just one more time. But that feeling passes, because I know that one more time will not be enough. I want a lifetime of it.

When I was travelling to India for your wedding last year, I was so excited and happy for you. I was glad that you were settling down and I was looking forward to having nieces and nephews to spoil and Sia was looking forward to having cousins. I imagined that you would move from Florida to California and we would see each other regularly. The one thing I never imagined was that a week after your wedding, I would stay on in India for your funeral. From the first time I saw you when you were born, to the last time I saw you at your wedding was just a span of 32 years. And it went by in the blink of an eye. And now I have an empty life ahead of me, trying to learn how to live in a world without you.


Shirish and Sia at Mumbai Airport, en route to Shirish's wedding


I am angry that your life was cut short and that you didn't get to live it the way you should have. The unfairness of it consumes me. I want to write a strongly worded missive to someone demanding that you be sent back immediately. I compose the memo in my mind, and then soon enough I am deflated by the powerlessness of my situation. I miss you more with each passing day. I keep hearing your voice in my head, and I imagine you - waving to me or smiling at me. When I see people on the street who resemble you, it stops me in my tracks. I feel like stalking them, convinced that it is you who has been playing a prank on us all this while. I daydream that this is just a nightmare I will wake up from one day.

Every time I cry, I feel you right next to me, crying along. I hear your gentle voice soothing me, and urging me to live the best damn life I can, for the both of us. Without you, my life is only half of what it would have been. But I owe it to you, our parents, my little girl to make that half count. And I will do everything in my power to live a good, meaningful life. I heard somewhere that we are not defined by the things that happens to us in life. We are defined by how we react to the things that happen to us. I am trying to make that my new mantra.

But that doesn't mean I won't miss you or mourn for you. I will continue to yearn for you, even as I try to smile through my tears and keep on living on.

I wanted to honor you in some way, and I decided to run a full marathon as a tribute to you and my way of acknowledging the pain you must have gone through. It seemed befitting, since you and I had gone together to pick up the bib for my first ever half marathon, and that it was almost exactly 2 years to the day that you died. At the time you said that someday we would do a full marathon together. And this marathon was one day before the 1st memorial of your death, so it felt right, that I channel the pain and grief inside of me into a physical form. I was not able to train fully for the marathon, but I had no doubt in my mind that I would finish it. Run, walk or crawl, I was going to cross that finish line on my own steam. So I ran it, for you, and you were with me every minute of it.

I will always miss you, and your love will continue to be the wind beneath my wings. Nothing in the universe can change the fact that you are and will always be my brother. I would give anything to have you here physically with me and it pains me that I can't make it happen. We may not be in the same world, but you will live on in my heart, and the hearts of all the other people whose lives you touched. This, is not goodbye.

Always,
Your sister - Supriya.





Saturday, May 21, 2016

PINK AND GREEN FIT FOR A QUEEN

J Crew Tippi Sweater | J Crew Necklace |
Kate Spade Outlet Bag | Old Navy Jeans | Old Navy Boots


This queen had a willing king take dozens of pictures for the royal blog, but upon examining the end results she was forced to acknowledge that alas she couldn't lay claim to the title of a FIT queen..specifically because of her muffin top. The queen has proclaimed that J Crew is to blame for this, since they make sweaters that shrink in the mid section instead of growing and expanding with the wearer. Off with your head, J Crew.

The queen also solicits input from people regarding blog pictures. Do you use a cell phone as the queen currently does, or do you use a DSLR? Any photography advice will be appreciated, and possibly well rewarded (with lavish praise and thanks).

The queen wishes one and all a nice day, and expresses her gratitude for your readership.

P.S  Kate Spade is currently having a surprise sale going on, and my bag's pattern does feature on a few of the bags on sale. I like this one a lot, and it is under $40.

Linking up with Elegance and MommyhoodA Pocketful of Polka DotsMix Match FashionLiving in ColorJersey Girl Texan HeartSydney Fashion Hunter and Happiness at Midlife

Friday, May 20, 2016

QUIRKY BAGS UNDER $30





1. Polka Fur / 2. London Girl Clutch / 3. Perfume / 4. Lipstick / 5. Pencil / 6. Globe

A sighting of the Nila Anthony Grapefruit bag at T. J Maxx for $15 is what prompted me to search the Internet for this genre of bags. I can't vouch for the quality of any of these bags, but for the reasonable price point, they sure are good conversation starters. I am fairly green at photo editing, and you would be wise to trust that the the pictures shown here are NOT to scale.

If you up the price point even a little, there are a lot more options. But for me personally, I doubt these will get used too many times and so I prefer to stay within this price range.
I have been considering the watermelon clutch since last summer, and there are lots of them on eBay and such sites, but I haven't yet pulled the trigger. 

Of the ones above, I can see myself using both the watermelon bags, the ice cream bag and the fur clutch, maybe even the girl motif one. But I am not sure that the rest of them are for me. Which ones do you like? Let me know in the comments if you like any, or even if you like none of the above. If you have been eyeing some other fun bags, please do share.

Have a nice day, and thanks for reading!


Saturday, May 14, 2016

HAIR TODAY GONE TOMORROW


J Crew Factory Top | Target Jacket |
Old Navy Pants | Michael Kors Handbag | Old Navy Flats


Every once in a while, I get possessed with wanting to do something different with my hair and I attempt new things. The results of these experiments invariably lead to me realizing that I actually prefer my hair simply straightened.

Once I decided on wearing these cropped wide-leg pants today, I had the urge to try a big hair do with it. Although I was aiming for a 50s hair style, I got caught in the 70s and didn't make it to my final destination. I crave the beachy, tousled, effortless bed head look, but despite spending copious amounts of time on it, it usually looks worse than when I just roll out of bed.  Next time I will just roll out of bed and call it a day.

My photographer (who is 4) was itching to take a video and only the promise of a bribe enabled a few pictures, but I had to take matters into my own hands (literally! I had to take a selfie) to get a closer look at my hair. If you were thinking "What a cutie who wants to take a video of her Mom", let me stop you in your tracks right there: she starts off each video by saying "This is my Mom who is 70 years old." One time I made the mistake of asking her how old she thought her parents and grandparents were.  Her grandparents are in their 30s, her Dad is 20, but apparently her Mom is 70. The more I try to convince her that she is off by a few decades, the more she insists that I am 70. Maybe I should just start telling people I meet that I am 70. Hopefully at least someone will say "Really? You don't look a day over 20." Now that is wishful thinking on my part. 

I am curious to know, how old do you think I am? Please feel free to be honest. It can't be worse than what my daughter already thinks! If anyone has any styling tips to achieve the messy hair look, but without actually looking messy, then please dish.



I was browsing around in Banana Republic and I found a top that looked very similar to what I was already wearing, so I couldn't resist another selfie with it.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day!

Thursday, May 5, 2016

CINCO DE MAYO


Two things of note happened this Cinco de Mayo:

1.  I changed my clothes two times in one day! And that did not involve PJs or workout clothes. I wore this orange dress in the morning to my daughter's Mother's Day party at her school, and then changed into my jeans and polka dot shirt (that she had picked out as one of the outfits she wanted me to wear to her party) thereafter. This is unheard of in my life, and made me feel like a regular Hollywood A-lister, albeit without the accompanying looks, wardrobe or photographer.

2. My sassy four-and-a-half going on fifteen daughter reached new levels of sass yesterday. When I served her a version of rice with some veggies thrown in for nutrition, she took one disdainful look and this is how the conversation went:
Daughter:  Today is Cinco de Mayo, and thats what we have to eat? Couldn't you have made something a little better at least today.
Me: What does Cinco de Mayo mean to you anyways? And that is paella (totally wasn't, but what does she know) and thats what people eat on Cinco de Mayo. So eat up.
After which she just went "Oh" and despite my begging, pleading and threatening, proceeded to not eat any dinner whatsoever. The pictures in today's post were all taken by her though. And she did exhibit a lot of patience with me during our 'photo-shoot'.

In the pictures below, I am posing with two bags, since I would like your opinion on which bag works best with my outfit. In my quest to push my own boundaries, I keep trying to work in a pattern-on-pattern combo, and I think the floral bag would have gone along just fine with my polka shirt since it does have some purple shades. Do let me know what you think. Do you think the floral pattern is too much or do you think it goes well with this shirt?
 Uniqlo Shirt | Old Navy Rockstar Jeans | Old Navy Boots|
J Crew Factory Lavender Handbag | Aldo Floral Handbag

The last picture reminds me of the models on the home shopping TV shows displaying the wares. Not that I watch those shows or anything. Do you think I have a chance at making a career in that business?

Home shopping reminds me of a funny anecdote. Soon after returning back to India from one of her visits to the US to see us, my Mom who was still jet lagged at the time ordered a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the night, while watching something on TV. The next morning her foggy brain caught up, and she realized what she had done. Fortunately she was able to call and cancel it, else this would not have been a funny story! But the thing I find amusing is that she didn't even need a vacuum cleaner and wasn't even looking for one, but still ended up ordering that item instead of any of the other things they were selling. She should have just ordered some diamond jewelry instead!

Thanks for reading, and have a great day!

Linking up with Style Elixir and Mix Match Fashion

ORANGE FOUR-INCH DOOR HINGE


Orange was the new black last year (is it still?), but I say neon orange is the new orange. So that makes neon orange the new black! Do you think I should dye my husband's black pants a nice attractive, eye catching neon orange? And then when he fumes at me, I could just shrug and say, "What? Its the new black." That would go down very well I bet.

As you can see, no four-inch heels or door hinges were harmed in the making of this post.  These are the words that Eminem used to rhyme with 'orange' on 60 Minutes.

I bought this dress from Banana Republic last year, and while I did question being able to pull off this much neon, for $12 I wasn't going to split hairs. I have worn it three times so far including today, so not too shabby a cost per wear ratio. It came with its own fabric belt, but I found it more palatable with a structured belt.

Below are pictures of me attempting a twirl, but either I am not as graceful as I imagined or else I got too self conscious. Lets just go with the latter for now, till I sign up for ballet classes.


Banana Republic Dress (Similar, Similar, Similar or Similar) | 
H&M Belt | Aldo Handbag (Similar, Similar or Similar) | Old Navy Ballet Flats

Thank you for reading, and have a great day!

Linking up with Stylin in St Louis,  Living in Color,  Style Elixir and Mix Match Fashion

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

FIGURES OF SPEECH



Somedays I stand in front of my closet, and I can hear the clamor of the clothes vying to be worn, but somedays I hear only the scurrying of the clothes trying to get away from me. Today was a day of radio silence from my closet, and this top was either too slow or too arrogant to get away. It probably figured that since it has been left to vegetate in peace since the day it came in the mail last year, it was in no risk of being worn suddenly! But it exacted its revenge by looking much worse than how I remembered it. Or maybe I have selective hearing and I need to stop ignoring the siren calls of the gym beckoning me. Is it just me, or does your wardrobe talk to you and ignore you too?

Hyperbole, Personification and Euphemism all in the same paragraph! My high school English teachers would be so proud of me if they read this post. The last sentence was Euphemism btw, perhaps even Irony! 

 Old Navy Top (Similar) | Loft Pants | 
Aldo Handbag (SimilarSimilar or Similar) | Old Navy Boots

Thanks for reading, and have a great day!